CHRISTIAN LIVING-Poetry and Wisdom for Living Well

Faith Keeps Us Strong

2012-02-12T13:06:00.000-06:00

Sometimes faith is all we have to keep us strong. As I reflected on my job prospects and my future, all I saw was a black wall. I could not see beyond even to tomorrow. My thoughts went dark and I began to ponder the usefulness of living. I felt as if I was a camper at the foot of a high dark mountain. The side rose slick and insurmountable. The past had trapped me here in this present.

I thought of proverbs "Without hope the people perish." As I searched for hope to help me climb this mountain, I found within my heart another Word: "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen."

I quickly wrapped this around me like a warm cloak, and realized that even in the darkness, the hopelessness, the fear, God's Word is fruitful and sustaining. I don't know how long I will dwell in this camp. Yet I rest, assured that God is good, and His faithfulness will provide the means to scale this mountain.

New Year New Dreams

2011-12-29T11:27:00.000-06:00

Do you have a vision, dream or revelation for your life? Goals and dreams are important to our well-being. Without some kind of aim or direction, we lack focus. Life becomes stale, routine and something to be endured. Without a dream we sometimes fail to enjoy the life that God has given us. Without vision, people perish (Prov. 29:18).

Dreams can be as simple as a New Year's resolution to lose weight, read six books, learn to play an instrument, or paint a room. Take a little time to think about what you would like to do. Make a list, no matter how much of a stretch your dreams may be write them down.

Let yourself imagine the end result. Is it satisfying, worth the struggle. Then plan backwards how you can achieve the goal, and begin to achieve your dream.

For example, learn to play a guitar:

Buy an inexpensive guitar
Sign up for lessons
Practice each lesson daily
Choose a song you love and learn to play it
Keep at it.

Bowl a 300 game

Start bowling each week.
Use house balls until you find the weight that it right for you.
Take some bowling lessons.
Learn to find your mark and consistently throw the ball on the marks.
Buy your own ball and have it drilled for your grip.
Practice weekly.

God understands that the nature of man is to dream and achieve. He wants us to be successful and happy. And God knows that we must apply ourselves to achieve our dreams. We can have big dreams and little dreams. No matter, the dream is the thing.

Remember To Be Kind

2011-12-20T11:19:00.000-06:00

Remember to be kind at all times. Actively look for ways to be kind to other people.

With Christmas around the corner, I find myself remembering. When we lost our infant a young woman reached out to give me comfort. She gave me four mint condition copies of Vogue magazines wrapped with a gold ribbon.

It may seem odd, but it wasn't. Those magazines are still in my magazine rack and each time I see them I have chills in my spine. But not in a bad way. It is like a surge of comfort flooding my body all over again. These were beautiful items to her, an antique dealer, and she reached out to comfort me in the best way she knew.

Don't pass up the opportunity to be kind. It means more than you think.

Brain Eating Amoebas

2011-12-20T09:22:00.001-06:00

Brain eating amoebas. That's what I woke up to as I turned on the morning news. I signed onto my computer and found out a woman in Illinois shot herself and her three children in the head. And I wonder why I am so sad sometimes.

I grew up in the 50s and 60s when there were only four television channels and computers were only for big business. There was certain innocence in the world. Now everywhere I look I am bombarded with the most incredibly bad information.

Its no wonder so many people need medicine for depression. I tried not watching the news, but that seemed foolish to not be informed. I cannot escape the Internet. I remember God is good, and I look to Him for direction and wisdom.

In the early 1900's, swine flu wiped out entire towns. Infant death rates were high. I found out that antibiotics were not even around until the end of the 1800's and the polio vaccine didn't arrive until the 1950s. So, it's always been hard.

As I prayed this morning, I read Psalm 97:5: The hills melt like was in the presence of the Lord. In my mind's eye I saw that the mountainous obstacles that surround us, the perilous terrain we tread, all become smooth as we rely on and trust in God. Life is hard but God is good.

Going Through Trials With Grace

2011-12-04T13:51:00.000-06:00

As I read Psalm 77 this morning, I could see the tight and lonely space where David was residing. He was hemmed in on all sides, and felt abandoned by God. "You hold my eyes from closing; I am so troubled I cannot speak" Amplified, Psalm 77:4. I understood this and I am moving through this same solitary spot.

But God is good, and as I continued to read verse 10 says "And I (David) say, this [apparent desertion of Israel by God} is my appointed lot and trial". I smiled because I admire the humility of this. David choose to accept that this is where God wanted him now, and he choose, he purposed in his heart, to praise God and remember all the good things God had done for him.

I understand that trials and hard times pass. How they pass is up to us. When God has made up His mind that I have to go through something, it does me no good to fuss. I do open my heart to God and through myself on His mercy, don't get me wrong. But I purposely call to mind how good God has been to me, and how I have seen Him act in other trials. It keeps me.

Will God Give Me A Million Dollars

2011-12-01T08:47:00.000-06:00

For a long time I have been praying that God would give me a million dollars. I am very open about this, and some people think I am crazy, selfish, proud or self absorbed. Yet I pray in hope and I rest knowing that God knows my heart.

I learned a long time ago that I do not stand against God. Am I perfect in this? No, there are many times when I have fallen, and have to belly crawl like a dog to the throne of grace.

Praying for a million dollars is so outside my control, and easier than praying for the everyday needs. Easier because the everyday needs are more emotional, more immediate, and I desire to control the outcome of the prayer. I have to purpose in my heart to pray and let go, knowing that God will do what God will do. This is where the trust and faith come into play, because God loves me, and somehow things will work out, even if the events unfold differently than I had planned.

I was drawn to Job this morning as I prayed. These words make my heart shake, but fill me with confidence in God at the same time. God says "Brace yourself like a man." Well, that takes the little girl right out of my mind. God says, "Who has a claim against me that I must pay?" Even with the blood of Jesus covering me, I owe God my life. And I say with Job, "I know that You can do all things, no plan of Yours can be thwarted."

So when I pray, I ask God. At the same time, I understand that it's not my will but His that will be done. It's scary sometimes, but I have seen that even in death God is faithful, kind and merciful.

Then the LORD answered Job out of the storm. He said: “Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge? Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me. “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Job (38:1-5)

Then the LORD spoke to Job out of the storm: “Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me. Job 40:(6-7)

Who has a claim against me that I must pay? Everything under heaven belongs to me. Job 41:11

Then Job replied to the LORD: “I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?’ Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. “You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.’ My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.” Job 42 (1-6)

Hope in Hard Times

2011-11-27T11:29:00.000-06:00

Hope in hard times is our shield and strength. In hope we look to God, our ever-present hope in hard times. The truth is that in life there will be trouble, some small, some great, but God will hear us and help us. Even when I shake with fear and fight despair I know this to be true.

When I think on the Word of God, when I remind myself that God is faithful, I smile at the words "but God…" However, God is the light of hope and hope does not fail.

The blessing of the LORD brings wealth, and he adds no trouble to it. (Prov 10:22)
The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you. (Psalm 9:9-10)
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. (Psalm 46:1)
In the day of my trouble I will call to you, for you will answer me. (Psalm 86:7)
A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all; (Psalm 34:19)

Hope

I hear the Lord, He calls to me,

"Believe Me one more day,

I'm on your side, I'm in your heart,
I won't turn you away.

Pick up the laughter, hold the joy,

Embrace the dream, and stay.
Grab hold the hope, protect your heart.
For now I make the way.
Like streams where none have been before,
Like desert roses bloom,
I am Creator, pure and good.
The way will be clear soon."

Do not give up.

Best Black Friday Deal

2011-11-25T08:49:00.000-06:00

Black Friday marks the official beginning of the holiday shopping season. People wait in line all night in the hope of saving ten dollars on a gift. I wonder if people remember, or would stand in line all night, in the hope of catching the saving grace of God.

The holiday season, as it is politically named, is really the official beginning of the birthday celebration of Jesus. Without the birth of Christ, there would be no holiday season, and no saving grace.

We might miss the sales, but we should not miss this wonderful opportunity to share the true gift of the season with others. Remember Jesus is the reason for the season. While that might sound like a cliché, it is a catchy way to remember why we celebrate. We celebrate because we have received God's greatest Gift.

Being Christian in Hard Times

2011-11-14T10:45:00.000-06:00

Being a Christian doesn't mean we won't face hard times. I am facing hard times. But I know God will help me. I have to laugh. The Word says "ask, and keep on asking, seek, and keep on seek, knock and keep on knocking." So I ask a lot. Sometimes I wonder if God gets tired of me asking, but I remember that God is good all the time.

I have been trying to get Bank of America to work with me on my house payments. I practice the Word. I ask and keep on asking. I wondered if others were going through the same thing, but not being as tenacious as me. I advise anyone going through this to be diligent.

I wrote a letter to the White House explaining the situation. Guess what? The President wrote back. My case has been assigned to the homeownership prevention office. I spoke with the homeownership prevention office, discovered they will speak with Bank of America and escalate a resolution.

I praise God for His Word, "ask and keep on asking."

You can read my diary of my dealings with Bank of America:

Bank of America-The President Listened
Bank of America: Who's Home is It
Bank of America Remains Unbending
Bank of America: Ensuring Individuals Enter Default
Bank of America: Here to Make You Homeless

Will Beating Your Child Bring Results

2011-11-07T12:15:00.002-06:00

Can beating your child really bring results? The recent case of the Texas judge beating his child because the teen consistently defied the father's request to stop downloading music and movies from the internet, I wonder why the dad didn't just take the computer away. It certainly is a more effective way to make the child realize the consequences of disobedience.

When I think of parents beating their children in the hopes of making them behave, I wonder what the parent is thinking. Perhaps the beating arises from pent up frustrations because other methods have not worked. But I question the parents' ability to apply consistent discipline.

Spanking a child is not beating a child. Spanking is most appropriate for young children. The older the child, the more discipline aids the parent has at his or her disposal. Restricting the activities of an older child usually brings compliance more quickly because an older child can realize that certain behaviors will result in loss of privilege.

Good parenting involves consistent reasonable discipline. God teaches us not to discipline our children with anger that only fuels the rebellion. Rather to apply discipline in a consistent, loving manner:

Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death. (Prov. 19:18)
Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul. (Prov. 29:17)
The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother. (Prov 29:15)
He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him. (Prov 13.24)

While the word "rod" conjures up images of sticks and belts, God is not saying to beat your child with a belt or stick. Parents have many "rods" at their disposal:

Time-out
No television
No computer
No social event

Using these rods in a consistent way will help your child to understand that actions have consequence. And these rods may have a better effect than a belt.

When Spanking is Beating: Parental Bullies

Loving Our Kids On Purpose: Making A Heart-To-Heart Connection

Paranormal Activity

2011-10-30T09:14:00.000-05:00

What amazes me is that people easily believe in paranormal activity-ghosts, spirits, hauntings, possessions-but are skeptical when it comes to believing in God. We live in a three dimensional environment, but we know that there are more angles to life than we can see, feel or touch.

I am struggling with sadness and a negative attitude. Struggling because I am constantly banishing the despondent thoughts trying to blanket my mind and steal my hope. And I am weary.

So I am cruising the television channels, looking for positive or funny things to watch. I stop on a preacher I have heard good things about. He spoke about how God using the adverse situation in our lives as stepping stones to greater things. (There goes that character thing again).

What amazed me is the message was focused on jobs and different situations that lead to unfair termination and betrayal. Whoa! My ear turned and I listened. God was speaking directly to my heart, telling me to let go of the pity and negative thoughts, and turn my eyes towards the good that will come of this.

God reached through the veil and used someone to speak directly into my heart, into my situation and into my attitude. This is positive paranormal. Paranormal means "seemingly outside normal sensory channels," and "not in accordance with scientific laws."

I admit that paranormal activity exists, and I choose the positive paranormal to guide my life.

God Loves Squeaky Wheels

2011-10-28T09:52:00.001-05:00

God loves squeaky wheels. As I listened to myself praying, I began to wonder if I was a jerk. But God already took care of this in His word.

At times my heart is weary
Praying without resolve
I wonder if I'm selfish
Blind or self involved.
I read that David cried out to the Lord
Do not be deaf.
Hear my supplication
Come swift to my defense.
How blessed!
For God is always listening,
God is always good.
The heart can trust, rely and lean
On God:
His Word is evergreen,
Our ways have been foreseen,
God will intervene
With mercy and strength.

So I say to you, Ask and keep on asking and it shall be given to you; seek and keep on seeking and you shall find; knock and keep on knocking and the door shall be opened to you. For everyone who asks and keeps on asking received; and he who seeks and keeps on seeking finds; and to him who knocks and keeps on knocking the door shall be opened. (Luke 11:9-10)

How cool is that!

Trusting God

2011-10-15T09:45:00.000-05:00

How much do I trust God? Unexpectedly, God showed me a path this morning. It brought tears to my eyes, and I felt very exposed. Sometimes, we tuck away the most precious dreams to protected them from disappointment. But is that the way? I never thought of this before, but tucking away a dream is making sure the dream does not succeed.

I have sacred things.
Lace and flowing white billows
Holy in my heart,
Unshared, protected.
Dreams that on exposure
Tear in my eye.
Held back by fear
So close and precious.
God says: Trust, and let me help you
Bring the dreams into the waking world.
They are strong enough for bruising.

Praying Makes Me Smile

2011-10-12T17:50:00.000-05:00

So much is going on these days. Watching CNN is sometimes a bitter pill, because life is hard. I pray for the government, which needs a lot of prayer these days, and I pray for others. Prayer has become something I do easily. I have learned that I don't have to be kneeling on the floor with my hands folded, or even in a prayerful place. I pray at the drop of a hat. This is what makes me a happy person.

The other day I found myself really struggling. I felt a generalized anger and discontent. And the mood was really messing up my day. When I realized this, I prayed where I was, and asked for peace and right-thinking. I was honest and told God I wasn't particularly interested in forgiving, that I was really angry, and I understood this wasn't really a healthy way to be.

God is very good, and the act of admitting and then accepting God's grace did the trick.

APPLES OF GOLD

Soft and silken Word of God
So gentle on my heart.
A refuge from the rock‑hard world
Such love does it impart.
Despair and sadness fade away
With each caressing word.
Smiles and hope take shapes anew
In light of what is heard.

Lamb of God, He walks the Word,
Engraving every heart
That opens up the door to Him:
A wondrous way to start.

Occupy Wall Street: Exposing the Truth

2011-10-04T12:27:00.001-05:00

The truth behind the Occupy Wall Street protest reveals the mind-set of Wall Street.

Like the debtor forgiven
Who leaves the king and seeks out
Those who owe him money
Credit kings, forgiven by the government,
Seek to sap the last cent
From their debtors.*

---As the economy crumbles and savings are dust
Only God is invested to manage our trust.

The current movement to Occupy Wall Street led me to think about the real reasons the revolt is occurring. People are trying to satisfy their basic need for food and safety. In an effort to clear away debris, I did a lot of research and it is economic tightly woven tapestry of corporate practices, personal agendas and greed.

*Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. The servant fell on his knees before him. "Be patient with me," he begged, "and I will pay back everything." The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

But when that (forgiven) servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. "Pay back what you owe me!" he demanded. His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, "Be patient with me and I will pay you back." But he (the forgiven servant) refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.

When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. Then the master called the servant in. "You wicked servant," (the master) he said, "I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?" In anger, his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. (Matt 18:23-34)

Failing God

2011-09-28T15:42:00.000-05:00

When we fall short, understanding we are failing God, it's important to recognize our shortcomings. God did. He knew us from the moment of conception. And He made a way. Still, we feel sad, often shamed, and it is sometimes difficult to know what to do.

I stand cloaked in failure.
Obedience and right thinking
Buried under pounds of trying
To construct my life and not bother God,
When all He wanted was my trust
My pride, my grief.

I cannot look into those lovely eyes
Or bear the kindest touch.

Googling my mind for God's word
I find two ways to react to failure:
Peter, who denied the very Lord he defended,
Wept bitterly while
Judas, who betrayed his Friend, was racked with shame,
And hung himself.
I look into those lovely eyes,
As sorrowful as their reflection,
I choose faith, the forgiving nature of God.

I shake off the cloak of failure
Letting go the clasp of pride and self-reliance
Step quietly onto the trail of forgiveness
Wiping bitter tears and
Warmed by the sun.

Eliminate Regrets

2011-09-21T11:53:00.000-05:00

Over time the rooms where I live are changed
As cement and wood and walls mature,
Settling into the foundation.

Regrets like paint haunt the walls,
Reflect within the mirrors and frame.
The mold and rot of past gathers,
Seeps into the studs,
Weighting and constraining strength
So that the roof recurves.

Becoming a facade, smiling white paint,
While inside waits the destruction of regrets
Held vigil,
Until the walls crumble.

Life lived is spackled with regret
Refining who I am,
But these cannot define
Design without destruction.

Time is to contemplate and clean away regrets,
Bury them in stone etched with God's promises.
Refresh the thoughts the hold the home in place
And turn my eye from beckoning remembrances
Of what was, or could have been.

These are dead memories.

Battling Fears

2011-09-18T10:51:00.000-05:00

My mind is a battlefield, and battling fear is something I do. I battle more, like self-image, doubt, and trying to figure stuff out. The WHY of life. God's word says we battle not against flesh and blood, but against powers in high places. The powers in high places attack my mind, trying to bring confusion and general misery. I don't always win the battle, but with God, I will win the war.

What a desperate dreamer found:
Fantasies and hopes,
Well hidden,
Brought to light and aired.

And so uncovered, running rampant in my heart:
A battlefield of reality,
Littered with wounded dreams
And injured visions.

And I, like a hero,
Dodge exploding shells of doubt
And the gun fire of fear.
Racing onward, bravado,
To meet the stranger.

God's Promises Require Some Handholding

2011-09-15T20:00:00.000-05:00

Like many folks these days, I am out of work. For me, this requires some spiritual discipline. I am prone to melancholy, and I always like to have a plan. The circumstances I am facing now mean I don't have a clue, let alone a plan. But I know one thing: God is good all the time.
So I stand up and keep on moving forward. I am doing all I can, apply for jobs and talking with my creditors about reduced payments. I like to be pro-active. I can't make it turn out all right, but I know God can.

God's Promise

Unknown, cautious movement.
A dark and sideless way.
Walking forward,
Yearning for arrival
And the shining light deliverance.

To what end, this walking,
In a hazy half light?
What mountains and pitfalls lie ahead?

Sustaining, the Lord's hand.
And this promise:
Though stumbling shall not fall

Asking Why on 9/11?

2011-09-11T13:07:00.000-05:00

It's hard sometimes to understand that the merciful God we serve puts up with such fell events. I am sometimes tempted to ask "why", but not often, only because in my life I was usually too shocked, and could only pray "Lord, help me."

I know we live in a world of parallelled faith and unbelief. And unbelief yields fear and worry, leaving the heart like an abandon child with no guidance to grow on.

Wicked, wrong and villainous
They boarded on the plane
Practicing a ritual
To reach their heavens plain.

Treacherous, troubled, trickery,
He snuck into the school
Fired his anger in bullets of death
Uncivilized and cool.

Maleficent, malicious mother
Captured children, one by one,
And held them under water
Until each life was done.

Repellent, reprobate raper
Chased the woman as she ran,
Grabbed her collar in his fist,
Left her dead upon the sand.

“Something wicked this way comes”
A falling from the grace
Tattering the holy weave of man’s nature,
Abhorrent,
Void, the heart debased.

On this day, and always, I pray for those who live in unbelief, and for peace and joy to enter their hearts.

Are You Waiting on God?

2011-09-07T21:01:00.000-05:00

I am. And there are days when I must exercise discipline in my spirit. My flesh is a big cry baby!

I am still confident of this:
That I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Be still, my flesh,
Take heart, my soul.
Having done all
Stand, and wait on the Lord.

He is faithful, always near.
While my heart yearns,
My eyes are on Him.
He is not slow.

I shut my eyes to the circumstance,
I hold tightly to the Word
Embedded in my thoughts,
Knowing the feeling like drowning
Does not mean I am.

I do not struggle,
Rather stretch out my arms.
Resting in the water
That keeps me afloat.

God is faithful, He is near.

Trusting God

2011-09-04T19:19:00.000-05:00

Life is not always easy. Sometimes it's downright hard. I have been reflecting today on things that have happened to me, and my story is no different than any other. I have lost my job, buried a baby, found a friend who committed suicide, had to learn to accept "no" as an answer to prayer... but as I reflected on these things, I also remembered the goodness of God in each circumstance. Not once was I without hope or without comfort. God is good all the time. And I have this simple poem to share.

When the world turns to ashes
And my life seems but dust
In You, Oh Lord,
I place my trust.

God is Faithful

2011-08-31T19:22:00.000-05:00

Consider Him who is faithful.

I turn dreams to heavy things,
Demanding, like a child.
I lose sight of vision
Staring at the present reality
As if it were the only one.

I seek the Lord for answers
Already given in the vision world
Of faith and certainty.
Oh faithless heart, distraction of my sight!
My soul grows faint in battle
With my soddened self.

I cry for mercy, relief from such a foe.
Mercy always comes. And such a sweet face.
The Lord smiles.
My soul finds rest in the gleam of His eye.
I stand again to move through one more day,
Just present reality,
And reach the vision set in trust for me.

Then there will be one more.

Patiently Wait

2011-08-24T22:24:00.000-05:00

I guard my heart.
But it escapes to fires and fantasies.
It longs to spend the days
Dreaming.

Willful waif, this heart of mine,
Defies maturity at times,
Playful imp on brighter days
Desires to dance the time away.

I lead it gently back to me
Require it to sit quietly
Until the Lord calls out to me
To follow Him on calmer seas.

Faith

2011-08-17T07:37:00.001-05:00

A door beyond vision
or
A place beyond touch.
What cannot be known, is.
Transparent substance
That sustains through trials
And leads, like a light,
Down the shadowed corridors
Of an unknown day.

Things beyond knowledge
Are known through the heart:
Planted by a word from God
That grows, perceptive in the Spirit,
Discerning what is
And has not been,
Yet.

copyright penstruck

The Presence of God

2011-07-01T20:17:00.002-05:00

Star-struck I am.
By the total goodness of God.
In everything, there is nothing
That does not shine with His brilliance.

No soft beauty that caresses my heart
Fails the touch of God:
He whispers on each warm wind,
Blazes in every rose,
Sparkles in each sun shower.

The kind word
Or compassionate touch
That passes between friends
Is the greeting of God's love.

The wonder is I'm woven into others.
A silken garment,
Embroidered with gold
And embellished God's love.

B343PT8JDJWD

Kicked in the Head

2011-06-25T16:01:00.000-05:00

Did you ever pray, "God help me"
with..whatever you believe is lacking in your life.
Then:
Someone says a word and you listen
And think.
And realize.

A bat hits your heart as your head feels the blow;
And you understand
That God has helped you stop being…….
A jerk, a baby, a self-pity potter,....
And you become a person who knows that the only thing
Lacking in your life is you.

God Understands

2011-06-17T07:55:00.000-05:00

God understands the heart of man.
I don't pretend to understand
Why God loves me, or even cares
Enough to smile on us.
We creep between our days
Our hearts, even kind,
Cannot imagine love so deep
That flows above our faults
And fills us, sprouting wings of hope
Attached upon our backs.
Smiling so innocent into deep crevasses
Healing all our desires
So the wounds of want leave us clean.
I look and seek the face of God
Surmise my life, breathe slowly,
Then shake my head in wonder
And gratitude
Who is God that He loves me?

Flash of Life

2011-05-15T10:39:00.002-05:00

Places peaceful pass

flash, fluid freedom
a being, born,
cocooned, and growing:
memories moments
birth beginnings
grow, in seasons.
Hot sun, bright days
memories amassed
and built into a future, passing
to another
momentum, smiles, sadness, decisions,
slow progression of digression
into endings that send
peaceful places of passing
into waiting
for the fluid flash of beginnings.

Easter-Christ is Risen, but where's the bunny

2011-04-24T09:09:00.000-05:00

I have never understood how the Easter bunny became the symbol of Easter. On Easter, Christians acknowledge the fact the Jesus rose from the dead. This day, Easter Sunday, is a time of joy, celebrating the newness of life that followed the death and crucifixion of Jesus.

But the bunny? History.com has some information on ancient tales of rabbits and eggs symbolizing new life. So maybe that is the connection. It's easier for me with Santa Claus, who brings gifts. I associate this with the great gift God gave in Jesus' birth.

I dug a little deeper, and found that Easter is defined as a wind from the east. As I searched the Bible, I found that the star the lead the Magi to Jesus was in the east.

Now the LORD God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed. (Gen 2:8)

Who has stirred up one from the east, calling him in righteousness to his service (Isaiah 41:2)?

And I saw the glory of the God of Israel coming from the east. His voice was like the roar of rushing waters, and the land was radiant with his glory. (Ezekiel 43.2)

For as lightning that comes from the east is visible even in the west, so will be the coming of the Son of Man (Matthew 24:27)

I found 112 references to "the east" in the New Revised Standard. But I couldn't find the bunny.

Considering God is Tough Times

2011-02-21T23:26:00.000-06:00

Consider Him who is faithful.

I turn dreams to heavy things,
Demanding, like a child.
I lose sight of vision
Staring at the present reality
As if it were the only one.

I seek the Lord for answers
Already given in the vision world
Of faith and certainty.

Oh faithless heart, distraction of my sight!
My soul grows faint in battle
With my soddened self.
I cry for mercy, relief from such a foe.

Mercy always comes. And such a sweet face.
The Lord smiles.
My soul finds rest in the gleam of His eye.
I stand again to move through one more day,
Just present reality,
And reach the vision set in trust for me.

Then there will be one more.

copyright Penstruck

God gives us hope in dark times.

2011-01-30T11:01:00.000-06:00

Even after being a christian for many years, there are revelation moments, where I realize why or when or how I came to sadness, and sometimes hopelessness. I pray, examining the events, the words, the impressions, and how these chiseled me, bent me, and formed who I am today. I pray for healing and direction. I mourn. In such a dark time, God gave me hope.

"Forget the former things. Do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new work.
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
And streams in the wasteland." (Isa 43:18-19)

Desert soul, barren rock of dust despair,
Take heart. Begin again.
Fountains of the Lord spring forth,
Watering the land; pure pour of life.
The sand surrenders, and through the furrows,
Deep and etched with grief and battered dreams,
The Lord restores the stream.

Unconditionally, I recede,
Receiving God's love and so I am a field:
As yet, just plowed and planted,
Anticipating the days of thunder,
Sweet rainfalls of the Lord.

Look back no more to Egypt,
Little child upon the path,
The sorrow lies behind you,
Draw a wall now at your back.

Renew your mind and empty all the buckets
Filled with fear.
Throw them now behind you,
Draw the wall and hear:
The future, like white paper,
Smooth and shining, fresh and clean,
Stands before you now, draw the dream.

Trust in Me, child,
Spread your wings,
Glide upon the currents of My love.
Soar high like an eagle, proud against the sky,
Trust in Me, child, spread your wings,
In my freedom, spread your wings.

Best Ways to Show Others You are a Christian

2011-01-23T17:47:00.000-06:00

Smile. Did you know that when someone smiles as you, it instantly lifts your spirit and makes you think there is hope.

Be patient. A crowded checkout line is difficult on the checker, too. While you are waiting in line at the drive-thru ATM, get your card out, sign your checks and prepare your deposit. It will keep you busy, and help those behind you others get through the line faster.

Be a good listener. Let people tell their stories, their troubles, and share their joys without interruption. Ask God to help you hear, and respond with a word in due season.

Be patient. You did not get to where you are overnight, and no one else does either.
Don't think you have solved the puzzles of life and have the "right" answers. If you did, you would be with Jesus.

Love always. Love is not the kissy, feeling stuff. It is the sustaining attitude that you will be the pillar in the lives of those you know. You will accept their shortcomings, and treat them like Jesus treats you.

Pray and talk to God. When your boss yells at you, when you are facing a challenge at work or school, when you are stumped on a problem, talk to God. He does care about you.

Life is Hard but God is Good

2011-01-16T16:49:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I'm just world‑weary,
Daily living brings me down.
To pay the bills and just survive.......
There seems no easy ground.

I take a quiet pause in life,
Reflect upon the stars.
Those tiny lamps glow joyously
And somehow give me cause
To contemplate God's promises,
His words of love and hope,
That overshine the weary days
And gently help me cope.

...And flowers, blooming artfully,
Reveal the wealth of God.
They do not work or gather goods,
Yet so arrayed are they,
That all the money in the world
Could scarce clothe me that way.

And these, a season's beauty, pass.
How much more God will do
For me to bloom as beautifully,
If I will trust Him to.

Post Traumatic Sixites-Reality TV Begins

2011-01-16T16:37:00.002-06:00

In 2010, reality tv has taken over the networks. But in the sixties, reality tv begins--and it was reality. Watching the news made you duck. It started with the replays of President Kennedy's assassination, then we watched Lee Harvey Oswald get shot. Bobby Kennedy and Martin Luther King were gunned down, and we watched.

There were riots, church bombings, and civil rights workers killed. The Vietnam war was broadcast regularly, until they had to stop because someone saw their son dead on a stretcher before they were even notified. And into the seventies, there were students killed at Kent State, and the clocktower massacre.

Before this, television was non-threatening entertainment. Women and children never got killed. Actually, I saw the first lady die in an episode of Bonanza. Anyway.

So trying to sell reality television to me is a hard-sell. I have seen the real stuff. And it left the youth of the sixties with a plateful of hard truth.

New Year

2011-01-01T13:21:00.000-06:00

Wedge the wind beneath me
Challenge my heart with hope
Within my walls of walking
Life lifts,
Tracking trials
Molding memories
Choosing
Past or present
Which
Can break barriers
Or construct concrete.
Smiles surpass
Clearly commence
The present prevails
I begin again.

Surely Joy Comes In The Morning

2010-12-31T14:33:00.000-06:00

HIDE AND SEEK

Quiet morning rising,
Still darkness in my heart.
I reach out for a light
To cross the room.
Sleepy eyes, blurred in shadows.
Dull thoughts, searching through the gloom
For what has come before.

I draw back the curtains
To let the soft light
Filter through the room,
Seeking out reminders
Of what the Lord has done.

The shadows fail.
The soft, pale light of promise
Fills the room.
I turn to face this dawn:
Fresh hope and joy.

Christian Living

2010-12-30T10:43:00.001-06:00

You are my life and breath,
My fiber, and the basis of my being.
You are the strength in my soul,
The keeper of the courage in my heart.

In the devastation of broken dreams,
Among the ruins of unrecognized hope,
You are the foundation for rebuilding
and rebirth,
The keeper of the courage in my heart.

Your Word is like a strong arm,
Your will a wall of safety.
You are faith itself, and never ending hope.
Though earthquakes rock my life
And split my dreams like paper
I cling to You, my constant source of strength,
Oh Lord, my hope and my eternal love.

You own my heart, and all that I have
Belongs to You.
What can I do that does not come from You?
What thought, or dream conceived,
Does not spring from Your creation?
I am, I am because You are,
Oh Lord.I am because You are.

Post Traumatic Stress in the Sixties

2010-12-27T11:39:00.004-06:00

We know today that posttraumatic stress disorder is plaguing veterans. It took a long time for to admit that those who live with the constant threat of death are never the same. I remember when my husband returned from Vietnam. He was confused, angry, and finally, dangerous for me and my child to be around. I tried to get help from the Army and from the Veterans hospital, but no one knew then what we do now.
And I think also about growing up during the sixties, with the Cold war, the "duck and tuck" drills, the bomb shelters, and TV tests. I wonder sometimes if we all don't have just a shred of PTSD. That sense of fight or flight that leaves us jumpy, that lead us on the rebellious path that is the legacy of the sixties.
If we can dive into ourselves, and remember, we can help with the universal acceptance that man, in terms of both male and female, have difficulty taking lives in the exploding environment that is war, and then not expect these veterans to return to normality with the descent from the plane.
Acclamation into normality needs some time.
And, in the US today, what is normal? Don't we all share in the towers, in the fear? Of course, we live each day, we laugh, we go on, because that is the nature of man, to survive. But we can acknowledge, and have mercy.
I have lived with this sense of an impending threat since I was small, since I watched the TV, listened to adults talk about the bomb, about nuclear threats, and did the drills in school.
When I was 10, I wrote this poem:

I'd hate to be in a war
Even if I didn't get hurt.
To have some strange man come and say " I won you,"
I didn't know I was a prize.
Surprise!

Discovered

2010-11-21T16:43:00.001-06:00

I saw my dreams today in your eyes.
That glance surprised me.
The dreams danced lightly,
Snapshots from the future
I keep, and no one knows.
But your eyes knew.

Jewels, my feelings,
Displayed within my heart,
Diamond fire on dark velvet:
Merchant's wares.
And I, so startled, thought,
"I have a fortress so secure",
Bright chambers for my dreams
And stalwart sentries
Guarding all my treasure.

Miser, I am,
Holding all of this, but safe.
Until I saw what frightened me:
That someone knew my soft and secret child.

And yet, I would not trade
Or lay these jewels aside.
The feelings they reflect
Glide across my heart, so silken,
And, within their folds,
I clamor through this fortress,
Opening my dreams to see
How you have come by them,
And how they nested in your eyes.

copyright penstruck

Faith

2010-11-13T14:32:00.000-06:00

Sacred Things

2010-11-07T09:41:00.001-06:00

Sacred things.
Keeping secrets,
Listening when you’re busy
Holding memories tight
And opening your heart.

Loving the unlovely
Smiling when you’re worn
Patiently tying a child’s shoe
And opening your heart.

For all the sacred thoughts and dreams
For holy smiles and words
For sunshine on a winter’s day
We hold our sacred things
Gently, like young children,
And sacredly open our hearts.

Copyright penstruck

What is Mercy

2010-11-05T21:31:00.002-05:00

This is mercy.
The sense of dread is gone.
My shoulders lightened,
And smiling goes deeper than my lips,
Into my thoughts, into my eyes.
The everyday is restored with greeting.

I am looking forward to the usual,
Dusting, sweeping, paying bills.
Grateful thanks I awoke this morning.
No one was dead, no one was screaming.
No person was demanding my time, my decision, my thoughts
Today is mine. And I am happy.

Just a simple prayer. “Jesus, help.”
He did, and has, restored my life:
Because life isn’t always dreams fulfilled or desires obtained,
It is the everyday:
The joy of coffee, raindrops on the windows
And the sun rising,
The anticipation of joy.

copyright penstruck

Moonie the Witch

2010-10-24T18:50:00.003-05:00

Moonie the witch is an age-old fable
Told oft at night 'round the dinner table
She could fly like a cloud
She was fearless and bold
She was kindness and light
She was always polite

If you had dinner with Moonie
You would dine on the moon
Table set with star dishes and plenty of spoons
You could sit at the table, put the spoon to the floor
Scope up mounds of cheese
And then dig down more

There were sandwiches filled with Jupiter jam
And fine fish from Neptune, and heavenly ham.
Mercury cakes filled with smooth Saturn rings
And plenty of Marzipan icing the thing.
Volumes of Venus beans, Mars sauce on the side
A table so spread, you are almost cockeyed.
Then dirt cakes from Earth, served in sunny jugs,
And Sweet Pluto pudding filled Uranusing mugs.

You would eat all your able,
At the table with spoons
While the stars changed from dishes
To lights for the room.
And Moonie would smile, and offer you more
So that when you were full, you would lay on the floor.

Then Moonie would move all the tables away
Throw you a pillow
So you could comfortably lay.
While she started the music
Comet Tail Hop and Sway
You would stand up and dance,
Little footsteps sashay
The twirling and rocking were magic, pure fun
And everyone laughed, yes, everyone

When the sun began yawning, and rising for day
She would fill sacks with cakes
You could all take away
Then you would climb on the length of her broom
She would fly you to home and your own soft bedroom
Where you lay down your head
And smile with delight
From the dinner and dancing with Moonie that night

Copyright Penstruck

Dancing on the Path

2010-10-21T08:22:00.002-05:00

Is this why I danced?
With daisies in my hair
Wore skirts so short
My cheeks were constant blush
And mothered children:

To slip so quietly into assisted living and oatmeal

The past is paved within me
Roads and rooms so filled with what has been
Built upon the gentle stones of schoolyards and promise
Cemented with ambition and dreams
Sorrows and despair.
There are worlds within me,
My vision shines with them
Alive and touching all that I am
Sinew in my soul, whittled wisdoms in my thoughts.

Such eyes as these should not close
With nothing to remember that the future glides
On my footsteps.

Copyright Penstruck

What does it mean to be a Christian

2010-08-29T10:50:00.001-05:00

What does it mean to be a Christian? Christian is an accepted term for a group of religious dominations subscribing to the belief that God sent his Son, Jesus, to live and die so that mankind could be once and for all united with God, beyond the Old Testament law.

So does being a Christian mean that you are a member of a denomination, even a non-denomination? Or does being a Christian mean that you, as an individual, have accepted as indisputable truth the Jesus was born of a virgin, lived, and died to reconcile you to God? And, if you, as an individual, believe and accept this, what is the responsibility of your everyday life?

Does it mean you follow a pre-described set of rules defined by an organized sect of the Christian religion? Or do you follow your heart?

It is good to be taught, and to understand Jesus and God's word. It is good to spend time understanding the sin nature of yourself, and why God had the need to send Jesus to die. You cannot change your nature, but you can ask Jesus to change your nature. And you can act as God would, with love, compassion and patience.

You can, through reading the Bible, prayer, and a devotion of thought life, draw close to God. So that you can ask, in any situation, how you should respond.

You cannot get close to God by following rules designed to define how you should act. Do you think God cares if ladies wear makeup, or men play cards? Only if in doing those things, your character is affected. God is concerned about the character of a person, not the actions. But, but, you say.

BUT think about it. The reason you do something is directly related to your inner man. When your character is aligned with God, you will only WANT to do things that reflect that.

It is simple, really, to be a Christian. Do good, and don't wait for people to praise you for it. It is only you and God. You can be a Democrat, and still be a Christian. You can understand that you are meant to live in the world, and be a light, so you mix with unbelievers, you go to school with them, and you work with them.

As you walk, be a person who lives in the light. People will come to you. Because they will be curious about your peace, your kindness, your excellence in your work, or education.

Homeschooling: Learning to spell

2010-05-14T09:32:00.003-05:00

When I was a little kid, somehow, I fell in love with words. I had a best friend, Kathy Schmidt. Her last name was the first word I learned to spell.
I am a smart person. But when I was a kid, I didn't have a filter, you know, the thing that makes you hold back on saying what you really mean. That did create some problems for me growing up. But eventually, I learned to craft words more kindly.
Anyway, Kathy and I were in her house, and her Dad was teaching her to spell her last name. S-C-H-M-I-D-T. It was interesting at first, but Kathy just couldn't get it. Her Dad was very patient, spelling it over, and over, and over. "Oh, comeon, Kathy, schmidt, it's not that hard!" I said.
Her Dad looked at me with real kindness, and said not everyone was a smart as me, and I had to learn to be more patient. I said I was sorry, and I meant it. But it set me to wondering, how smart was I? And more, how could words have such power?

Words are the most powerful tools we have. As parents, our words actually shape the personality, security and self-esteem of our kids. As adults, words affirm, solidify and amuse. Words are powerful, use them with care.

Dads can unschool, too

2010-04-22T19:09:00.000-05:00

My Dad worked hard, but he took time to unschool us in swimming, nature and general fun. My Dad was a baker, he went to work 6 days a week at 4 am, and got home around 5 pm. In the summer, Mom would make sure we were presentably clean before dinner.

On Sundays and holidays, before we moved to the suburbs, we went swimming and picnicking. My parents would pack us in the car and we would wind up at a lake. I remember standing on a dock watching my Dad and my brothers' swim. It looked fun, so I jumped in. I remember swimming, but my Dad said it was more like him going fishing for a little blond girl.

I was playing in a sandbox at the bottom of a hill, next to a lake. There were other kids, and we were having a blast. Suddenly, all the Moms came screaming down the hill, and picked up their kids. I was sitting there by myself. While I was wondering what's up with that, I saw a slinky snake wiggling in the sand. I picked it up. It was shiny and green, and felt cool. I stood up, and there was my Dad, just looking at me. He made me put the snake down.

One fourth of July, my Dad got a ladder and took my little brother and me up on the roof to watch the fireworks. Now that was fun. We sat there, talking, watching the bursts of blues and reds. When it was over, we learned how to climb backwards down the ladder without falling and breaking our legs, as my Mom had predicted.

Once, my Dad brought home a coconut. He gave me a hammer and told me to hit it. I did, but it didn't open. Then he let my brother try. Dad told us about islands where coconuts come from. He told us there was milk inside. We hit the coconut a lot, but it wouldn't open. Finally, my Dad whacked it, split it into two halves and gave one to each of us. It was amazing. I took the hammer from the garage later and had some fun whacking acorns; my brother preferred to use the hammer on caps.

My Dad believed that children should be spoiled, and have a happy childhood. Little did we know that when we were taller, we would become his free labor. My Dad unschooled us in work ethic, but that's another time.

Unschooling: tales of near death and betrayl

2010-04-21T19:59:00.001-05:00

I am learning about Unschooling. As I think about the philosophy I found while reading about Unschooling, I thought about all the unschooling that happened to me before I was six. I know the before six part, because my family moved to the suburbs when I was in first grade. The unschooling lessons I learned involved near death experiences and betrayal, as seen through curiously intuitive eyes.

I remember watching the Hallmark Hall of Fame show about a lady who was a pirate or leader of some group. What impressed me was that she jumped from a high tower into a sheet the guys held. This looked really fun and exciting. So, the next day, I talked my girlfriends, Kathy and Peggy, into playing this game.
We went to the back of Peggy's apartment building. We found a screen door. They held it and I went up to the third floor landing and climbed over the rail, prepared for adventure. It was cut short by a neighbor who rushed, screaming, and grabbed me. I was not happy. But later I learned I could have been killed.

Living in the city, hills and trees were fun places to go. My sister had to take me with her and her friends, and we were going to Mud Hill. Mud Hill was two blocks, one busy street and a good hill climb. Then we had to walk across a train trestle to reach Mud Hill. The slats were pretty far apart, and I had short legs. I stepped into the middle of the slat, and my shoe got caught. I didn't know anything about spatial relationship, so I was worried I would be stuck forever. Then I saw the train coming. I screamed "Barbie, Barbie" and other yells. The group turned back. My sister said, "Oh, she always yells like that" and kept walking. I think it was my cousin who finally had pity and saved my life. I wasn't sure I could trust my sister after that.

Now, the big betrayal. One hot afternoon, I took $5.00 from my dad's dresser and bought everyone in the neighborhood an ice cream from the ice cream man. My sister had two fudge bars. Later that day, I was coming up the front steps, and heard my sister telling my mom about how "… and she took money from your dresser and bought everyone ice cream, hump." However, she left out the part about how she ate two, and, even though she was five years older than me, did not try to stop me at all.
I slid against the wall, trying to get to my bedroom unnoticed. It did not work. I got spanked and she got ice cream.

Unschooling happens all the time. Even when kids are traditionally educated.

Unschooling: When did the land of the free become the home of the stupid

2010-04-20T19:53:00.003-05:00

I watched a short interview on CNN this afternoon. The host was 'chatting' with a woman who unschooled her children. When asked how her kids would learn things like trigonometry, the woman tried to respond, but couldn't pronounce the word. Then she said if her teenage son wanted to learn it, they would look it up on the Internet.

I have no words.

I write regularly helping parents find ways to motivate and teach their teenagers. And live through the teen years. Parents want kids to stay in school, to graduate and move out. But I found out that as many as 300,000 kids are in the unschool program.

These are the future leaders of our country. That scares me, and I'm fearless.

Christianity today: a simple calling

2010-01-28T10:36:00.001-06:00

"Come, and I will make you fishers of men". This is what Jesus said when he called the first disciples, Andrew and Peter. The men left their fishing nets and followed Jesus.

I am amazed at times how far from that moment Christianity have moved. It's no longer "Come", but "come, and do this, and do that, and act this way, and dress that way, and don't do this, and don't do that, and you will learn to be a fisher of men". It seems as if many Christians have assumed the life changing power of Christ, and put very many caveats on accepting Jesus as Lord.

But it's very simple. "Come." Don't worry about your present lifestyle or actions. If you hear the call to "come," just do it. What you will learn is that God is very capable of helping you become the person He wants you to be. What does God want? Honesty, integrity, self-respect, fairness, kindness, goodness and people able to show love. Because God loves us. And we are His mirrors.

Legend has it that Peter was a jerk. He admitted he was a sinful man. Peter also said to Jesus "Where else would we go? You are the Lord." Jesus gave Peter the keys to the kingdom. But not because Peter was so saintly, but because Peter was always the first to believe, and Peter knew that Jesus was Lord.

If God calls to you "Come," let your heart respond. Trust God to teach you, as Jesus taught His disciples. Honestly, you will learn about how Jesus built his disciples faith. Jesus took them out in the boats after they had a long, unsuccessful day of fishing, and filled their nets. Jesus sent them ahead in a boat to the other side of the lake, and then walked out to them. He awoke during a storm when they were afraid and stopped the storm. He fed the thousands from the few loaves and fishes His disciples brought Him. Jesus talked with the disciples daily, answered their questions, and was a living example of the character of God. They knew Him well, and He was whom they desired to be.

Woodstock-Where were you in 1969?

2009-08-13T10:18:00.004-05:00

Hey all you old hippies! Saturday, August 15, 2009 is the 40th anniversary of Woodstock.

Where were you in 1969. I was on my way to New York in my little yellow volkswagon. Never made it, the car broke down. I was bummed.

Woodstock was a peaceful, messy, farout music festival. Short on food, water, and clean condtions, hippies remained peaceful and fun-filled. Yeah, some drugged out, most were high, but this was a time when you knew the person next to you had your back.

It was a time before the drug wars, the bikers, and the bad guys. Peace, love, and rock n roll.

I am older now, straight, and a solid citizen. But my heart beats hippie.

The effects of being a Christian

2009-05-30T12:38:00.000-05:00

I write articles on Helium. I like the site, there are always interesting titles. There is a Marketplace where I can compete for money, and the opportunity to be published beyond the Internet. I have had some of my poems published, I write at other sites. I, like so many others, am working on a book, and have hopes of eventually supporting myself this way. But in the meantime, I work in accounting. Not a bad profession, not as boring as everyone jokes about.

My brother’s favorite joke: “Did you hear the one about the accountant who walked into a party and was so boring, the other accountants noticed?”

HA!

Today I had an email from a fellow writer on Helium. She stated she was a “happy heathen” and had some objections to my Christian undertones in my article. I was very pleased, actually. I am a Christian, and live my life according to the Word, the Bible. I don’t profess to be perfect, have all the answers, or have “arrived”. I am just a bozo on the bus, but I am a believer, and I am happy. To know that even my “unchristian” writings reflect who I am is a high compliment to me.

I wonder sometimes why people are so offended by Christianity. If they don’t believe in God, Jesus, or any of the principles, why should they care if I do? I don’t mind if they don’t share my beliefs. Some Christians might think that is awful, but I have considered this for a while.

Tell me, as Jesus walked among men, when did He have a screaming match with someone who refused to believe in Him? Well, once at the temple, when the temple courtyard was set up like a marketplace, with people selling sacrificial lambs, holy garments and other articles of prayer and worship, because they had turned the Holy Temple of worship into a place for gain. But, other than that, He lived the life, talked the talk and walked the walk.

Jesus offered hope. I took that hope. I thrive on it. When He met Peter at the dock, Jesus said, “come with me, and I will make you fishers of men”. He kept on walking, and Peter followed. Jesus didn’t beat Peter over the head. Jesus offered life. Peter took it.

Peter is my favorite. He reminds me of myself. Peter stumbled, he fell, and he got back up. He just kept following Jesus.

That’s what I do. When I write, my beliefs come through. That’s what Christianity is about. Passing it forward.

God's Healing

2008-08-20T18:48:00.002-05:00

I was shopping at Justice with my 9 year old. Justice is a store for tweens, who want clothing like they see on Hannah Montana. While I was outside the dressing room waiting for the next outfit appearance, I notice a young man with a large child in a stroller.
The little girl was disabled, and started to whine slightly. He soothed her and rocked the stroller back and forth. He was picking out some shirts for her to where, that were age appropriate for a tween. How sweet it was, and my heart was really touched. He was in a store his daughter would love, it she was aware that she was nine or ten. But looking at the child, I could see she would not be the energetic, bouncy girl, like my nine year old.
I have been praying for God to heal this child since I saw her. I continue to pray each day. Because God can. He doesn't need me to lay hands on the child. I hope that the girl is healing even now.
I could tell from the man's demeanour that he loved his daughter. And I want his hopes to be blessed. If you will, please pray for this child.

Trust in the Lord with all your Heart

2008-06-03T05:47:00.003-05:00

I had an interesting discussion with a fellow beleiver last night. We were talking about Amy Grant, a pioneer Christian singer who attempted a pop crossover and was unsuccessful. Amy, for reasons I don't know, left her husband, Gary Chapman, and married Vince Gill.
My friend was through scriptures at me about how divorce was sin, and the only reason for divorce is infidelity, or adultery. Divorce is not an unforgivable sin. And there are many reasons people split up.
Sometimes, being married to a particular person is unbearable, maybe they abuse drugs, beat you, or worse. And, it is an individual choice to seperate if there is adultery. Some people work through it, some don't. Infidelity can be emotional. Your spouse could have friendships that invade the intimacy of marriage, and circumvent the confidence one spouse is suppose to have in the other. If the two become one flesh, then there is an emotional leaning that develops.
In Proverbs, Chapter3 verse 5-6
"Trust in the Lord with all you heart, and do not rely on your own insight. In all your ways, acknowledge Hime, and her will make straight your path"
To me, this is a hugh scripture. As a baby boomer, (a nice word for old), I have seen a lot of stuff. One thing I have observed is that people can marry the wrong person. I beleive that God has a path for us, and it includes our mate. I have seen people marry to get children, because the former spouse could not conceive with them. I have seen people marry for lust, for money, or because someone was willing to marry them. My thought is: If God has a path, and we choose another, is God obligated to bless it?
So many people see God as the go-to guy, to get what they want. And God is good, He wants good things for his children. But He also wants obedience and trust. Think about your own children, if you have them. Young children want what they want, and will go to great lengths to get it. The children know the parent loves them, and after obtaining the goal, want the parents support. But the parent was not consulted first, or what the parent said was turned to suit the acquisition of the child's desire.
What I am saying is I don't believe we can walk around shopping and impulse buying, then come to God for His blessing afterwards. The word says "What God has joined together, let no man put asunder". The point here is God joining together.
So what if you come to the conclusion that you have married because you were so hot for the person or what they represented, you couldn't stand it. And here you are, really sorry. What then? Consider Proverbs 3, verse 5-6. Trust in the Lord, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path.

Poetry Techniques

2008-02-08T08:37:00.001-06:00

I participate in writing subjects at Helium.com. I am able to exercise my writing skills, and discipline myself to compose information I may not necessarily think of on my own. Part of this writing is rating the other writers. It gives me a chance to see how others are writing, and their views on subjects.

I was reading an essay on Poetry Techniques. It was very long, and very well researched. I was somewhat amazed by the amount of information telling poets how to write. I understand timing, rhyme, false rhyme and certain techniques. I have used them for creative writing projects in college.

But poetry is more than being able to combine words and meter. At least, for me it is. Normally, when I write a poem, it springs from a thought. I have a poem “The Dancer”. This did take a couple of years to write, because what I had for the poem were the last lines “Old woman sits in a chair, Her future recedes”.

This came when I was camping. Relaxing in the sun, I was thinking about life, where it’s going, how it’s going to end up, I ponder a lot. I saw the woman in my mind, rocking on a porch, hands folding in her lap, looking at the trees. How did she get there? All of her life played before her, and she was smiling.

When I write, normally, I hear the rhythm. As I put the thought into words, the computer keyboard becomes a piano, the syllables are notes, the pauses occur in the phrase. I sometimes go over it a few times, but honestly, it more often comes out just the way it sounds. Sometimes, it’s really good. Like my poem WOE. When you read this, you can feel the slow march of the Israelites, the heat, and the despair. The pace increases, and you can feel the joy. This is a really good poem.

I have a dark poem published on Helium. Today its number 236 of 1,337. That’s good. This is one of my stronger poems; I usually don’t publish the dark stuff. There is too much of it out there these days. Sometimes I think today’s poets have a mindset that trouble and discontent are the backbone of poetry. I don’t share that view.

Poetry is a dance, a celebration of life. Life has darkness, but it contains real joy, and fun. I just had a poem on breathing come to mind. Aren’t you glad you can breath? Doesn’t the sun fill you with hope? Misery passes. It really does. Oh, you say, you don’t know about my life! But really, I know about mine. If I told you all the sad and awful things that have happened to me, you’d sit down and be thankful for your life. I once read in a book about the Tree of Sorrows. When the people died, they were allowed to march around the tree with others, and could pick a different life. In the end, they chose their own.

This is a fun poem: WORDS

Never is a big word
Always seems so huge
I stand and face such verbiage
I am thoroughly confused.

Sometimes seems so normal
Maybe is benign
Could be fills with promise
Someday passes time.

What about the real words
Like yes and no and do?
Could be sometime someday
Maybe always never, too.

This is the dark poem APPARITION

You are an apparition.
Whispering worthy words into my ear
Wooing me with woeful tales of regret
Leading me to your persuasive prison
Where it is cold and dark
And no love lives.

Cold hearts, I know them well.
They cast their spell
And stand inside their walls
Believing they can live
Without touching
And have without holding
All the while, their hearts are molding
And dying, and they are deceived.

But they can’t care,
Because their delight is like night
And their smiles are darkness
Eyes filled with promise and deceit
They live in heat
That burns and kills the sweetness

Then suddenly, they are surprised
By death.

Flashlights for Christians

2008-01-15T04:04:00.000-06:00

I was researching the writers market, looking for a publisher for my children’s stories. While reading the submissions guidelines, I was taken back by some who stated, “not interested in the current contemporary Christian market”. I have been thinking about why?
What turns people off about “contemporary” Christians? Contemporary can be defined as “belonging to the present time”. And maybe that’s it. Do Christians “belong” to the present time? The words of God can be applied to the present time, but they are omnipresent.
I am a Christian, and I have watched the current Christian mindset develop from the “Jesus movement”. There are been a lot of changes, but the most disturbing to me in the idea that Christians are somehow “above” the current culture and social norms. We don’t belong in the churches, building ourselves up and selectively helping those “in need”. I have witnessed a situation that, to me, exemplifies the disparities. There was a married couple in the church, attending each Sunday. The man regularly sexually abused his daughters, and was receiving “counseling”. There was a woman with small children abandoned by her husband. She was struggling to make ends meet. She met a man who liked her and was willing to help her in her life. She had a relationship with him, and was disbarred from the church because she was “in sin”. This made no sense to me. The actions reflected that attitude of that particular church.
For a short time, I was a member of the “helps” ministry. We went to the home of a single woman suffering from breast cancer and did her yard work. There was a lot of grumbling about how people wished they could get help with their yards. The “helps” ministry only lasted about two months. Almost everyone dropped out, because they had “too much to do”.
Now, this may sound like I am bashing Christians, but I am not. I am saying that we need to take a look at how we think about the current state of things. And we need to look at Jesus, and follow his examples. When he came to Peter and the others while they were fishing, he didn’t say “Don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t swear, and you can be with me.” He walked up to them and said “come, and I will make you fishers of men”.
As I read the New Testament, I find that Jesus was very positive when he spoke to the crowds. Mostly, he was only negative when he was addressing the attitudes and actions of the “contemporary” church. Just some food for thought.
If the world is crumbling in morality and attitude, we have culpability. If we, as Christians, are doing what we are suppose to be doing, instead of raising voices about the decline and decay, we would be leading the way with really bright flashlights.

How to rest, and make the most of it

2008-01-13T07:50:00.001-06:00

Sunday morning. A day of rest? Right now, there is no such thing. I am committed on all fronts. Working all week, sitting at a desk, fighting fires and listening to problems and issues. And crunching numbers. Mentally, it’s exhausting. But I try to mix in a lot of smiles and humor. At work, they think my sense of humor is “sick”, or “dark”, and they are correct. Like the other day, I had listened to and solved about a hundred problems, the phone was ringing, the computer was slow, and I felt frustration creeping up my back. I asked one of the ladies to go down the hall and close the door at the end of the hall. I told her I was going to run as fast as I could down the hall and knock myself silly, because I would get fired if I shot Tequila. Seemed like a plan to me.

God’s rest is not like my idea of rest. Rest to me is mindless TV watching, or sitting outside staring at the sky. God’s rest is trusting Him that everything is going to be all right. There is an internal battle for God’s rest. How am I going to get it all done? How am I going to pay that bill, or find time to read or exercise? How am I……? But, the truth is stepping back and waiting. Get enough sleep, pray, and do what I can. God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above that which I ask or expect.

So I rest in the promise. Sure, I still work, I clean my house, I walk the dog, I pay the bills, I watch TV, I pray, I read. I keep moving forward. But when worry scratches at the door, with those chalkboard nails, I hum a tune. Or sometimes I sing out loud, or dance with the dog. I change the course of the thought. And I remember that God is good, all the time.

Day in Paradise

2008-01-07T18:47:00.002-06:00

This was the first day back at work after a two week holiday. I choose fun. Tried to upload a really funny picture. but it's Monday, so I am stupid.

But this weekend I watched the movie The Lake House. I am a romantic. But you know, I have also experienced the connection. I don't know really what to call it. Sometimes it is "soulmate", but that doesn't mean that the person will be in your life forever. In the physical sense.

I have known three people, one was my best girl friend in my twenties and thirties, the other two were men I loved. We were connected. Once, I hadn't seen my friend for maybe two years. Suddenly, she occupied my mind constantly, and I could almost see her and hear her voice. During this time, I ran into her mom. We were talking, and she said my friend was going through a really rough time and had been wondering how to get in touch with me. That is one example.

Sometimes, when the connection is open, (it is like a line between two orange juice cans), it can be very disturbing. It is like someone poking at your shoulder.

It is like the bond moms have with their kids. But bigger. Anyway, while the movie was based on a hole in time, so these connections are like windows that open, and the breeze coming through.

I wrote this poem during one of the disturbances.

Today I share my space with you.
We are the same stuff.
This veil that separates:
Thin as paper,
Sketched with occupations
From our separate days,
It stands so fragile:
Morning's mist, to rise and disappear
When the Lord smiles
Into time and turns
To restoration.

God is Good all the time

2008-01-02T06:23:00.000-06:00

I have this as my "mantra", if you will. I am going through some awful things right now, and am re-examining my life, and where it is going.
Just like everyone, there are horrors I have faced. Events that have shocked me, like a Tazer, and left bruises. I don't want to turn away from these, I want to meet them head-on. As I meet them, they become part of my being. So my goal, if you will, is to take these and turn them into something positive.
I admit that is not easy. I hate that I know bad things can happen, and touch me so deeply. What counts is that I was touched. Responding to these events correctly is important to me. What is correct? Heck, I don't know.
God knows. I pray from a contrite heart, to be humble, to be submissive. Submissive is not a bad word, to me, it does not mean "door-mat" or something worse. Submissive is the admission that this did happen, and it happened to me. Because who I am? That horror shouldn't touch me. It touches us every day.
I have heard "that which does not kill us makes us stronger". That is true. And the strong survive.
I have no idea what the future holds for me right now. But I am sure that God is with me, and, if I listen, if I don't get stupid, it will all turn out okay

A New Year

2008-01-01T07:18:00.001-06:00

I hear the Lord, He calls to me,

"Believe Me one more day,
I'm on your side,
I'm in your heart,
I won't turn you away.
Pick up the laughter,
hold the joy,
Embrace the dream, and stay.
Grab hold the hope,
Protect your thoughts,
For now I make the way.
Like streams
Where none have been before,
Where desert roses bloom,
I am Creator, pure and good.
The way will be clear soon."

I have challenges in my life, times of trouble, sometimes I am afraid. And I believe the God is good, all the time. So I choose to hope, I choose to believe. Sometimes I have to laugh at myself, I am no one really, another soul. I am mislead by my own passions, deceived by my desires, and I am inpatient. A Bozo, really. But isn't that why Jesus died?

Not so that I could be "holy" and walk around in a cloud. Not so I could sit around with others and talk about the decline of the world. But that I could bring hope. I know that we are bad and good, we do the best we can.

Hope never fails.

What is Woe

2007-12-30T18:10:00.000-06:00

The Israelites stayed in the desert because
they refused to make the decision to walk
by faith, and not by sight.

Struggling in this sifting sand
with no firm ground below,
Among this crowd of nomads,
wondering in woe.
Wandering within these walls
of blue and white hot light,
Days spent walking forward,
Resting quieter each night.

Finding bread each morning
spread across the sands like dew.
Witnessing a stone be struck
and waters flowing through.
Following a column
lighting one step at a time,
What now seems so uncertain,
was it once so all divine?
My legs do not grow weary,
my clothes do not decay,
I follow, I am silent,
I do not know the way.

I'm curious about the land
beyond what I can see.
I know the land that's now behind
and burns my memory:
As fear and worry captures me
I ponder at my plight
Give voice to discontentment
And rail against this flight.

To choose to stay, or choose to slow?
But if I leave, where will I go?
Dwelling in the land now past
Freedom was my dream.
But in these walls of desert
what freedom can be seen?
I cry aloud, to God..
And pause. Wipe blinding sand aside.
I remember I was rescued
I walked through walls of tide.

My steps grow quick, a song burst forth.
I lift my voice, now strong.
I hear the praises echo
through this great nomadic throng.
I look up to the light again-
A steady constant glow.
And steady now my heart responds
That where it leads, I'll go.
I know now what is woe.

Tiger

2007-12-30T18:08:00.000-06:00

This love I have for you:
It never leaves me.
Time can't touch it.
The hurts and heartspills
Take archers aim,
But cannot pierce the mark.
Love overtakes me,
Though I flee like a gazelle:
It is a tiger, and love brings me to my knees.
Dreamlike, love surrounds me.
While I struggle to remain in reality
It's visions cloud my eyes
And I am consumed with your nearness.
Sometimes I move inside your thoughts,
An alternate self,
Frightened, I embrace this love.
It fits so well,And silence does not still it.

Dancer

2007-12-30T10:05:00.001-06:00

I glance into the mirror
And see
The golden child upon the stairs.
Still smiling from beneath the cares:
I see my face, eyes wise and worn,
Behind the child's eyes,
Tinged forlorn.

I hear her music:
Memories lilting past,
Turning to listen
I see that happy dancer
Giggling on the stairs,
Pirouetting through the seasons.
Leaving the cement walking to the woman outside.
Smiling from the stairs,
Still the golden child, but not.
............

Old woman sits rocking on the porch.
She is only yesterday, her future recedes.
And in the twilight
She sees the ballerina,
Giggling.