Saturday, December 22, 2012

Nancy Lanza was the star of her life.

I am an observer. For as long as I can remember, I have watched people: I listen to their talk, and I look at how they act. Often I find people who talk one way and act another. The conversation is the presentation to the world at large; the actions reveal who is the star in their heart.

I am horrified by the events in Newtown. I grieve for the families, the little kids who survived, and the little kids and teachers who did not. I read the varied stories of heroism, admire the resolve of the Newtown parents, and wonder why Nancy Lanza did not reach out and seek help for her son.

Reports I have read about Nancy say she was concerned about losing her son and had told a babysitter and a male friend “not to turn their backs on the boy.” However, I have not heard or seen any medical or social services individuals coming forward to talk about treating Nancy’s son. This weighs heavy on my heart.

If Nancy Lanza knew enough to warn people coming into her home concerning her son, why didn’t she seek shelter and treatment for her child? I understand what it’s like to live with a teen that is beyond control. I have been there. However, I did not stand by and wring my hands. I fought for my child.

I did find that doors did not open easily. I called over 50 listed agencies and could not receive help. I did not stop. I called the juvenile department of my local police department and counseled with them. I was able to have a truant officer take my child to school each day. I spoke with my child’s pediatrician and had my teen confined in a hospital setting to prevent the child from running away. I went into debt and limited my lifestyle to afford a state run live-in school and counseling center to shelter and help my teen. My teen is an adult now, and living successfully.

I am not special. I am just a mother who did not give up. It is my hope to encourage those parents living with a scary child or out of control teen. Please don’t wring your hands. Fight for your child. If you don’t, who will?

There is help available. It may take tremendous resolve and effort on your part. However, this is the ugly part of parenting, and it still takes guts.

For a list of resources, click here. I have scoured the internet and composed a list of places you can call today. Please do.